Chicken Fat
by CuriousKat13
Summary: Cartman manages to find a way around the hell that is gym class: By actually performing better than his fellow students! But what's his secret? And what does it have to do with...chicken fat? Sequel to my first South Park fanfic, "Cartman Diet". Full summary inside. Rated T for language and nasty future stuff.
1. A New Challenge

Summary: When a new gym teacher is enlisted to South Park Elementary's staff, he takes no prisoners with whipping the kids into shape, with Cartman, especially, not getting any slack. But he manages to find his own way around the hell that is gym class: By actually performing better than his fellow students! But what's his secret? And what does it have to do with...chicken fat? Presenting the sequel to my 1st South Park fanfic, please go read it if you haven't already, Cartman Diet, in order to fully understand what's going on. Now, on with the story!

* * *

"Twenty-five! Twenty-six! Twenty-seven..."

The fourth grade boys all performed sit-ups as their teacher counted. Each boy grunted in pain as they felt their abdominal muscles tightening and releasing, keeping up with the teacher's counting. One boy, however, was feeling absolutely no pain. Eric Cartman had been allowed to sit out the sit-ups due to a doctor's note saying he had a "pulled abdominal muscle" and was ordered to rest it as much as possible.

"Thirty!" the gym teacher concluded as the boys all groaned in relief. "Alright, boys," the teacher said, "Just a couple of cool-down stretches and you can all hit the showers."

"Ahh!" Cartman sighed contentedly. "Good gym class today, eh, guys?" he said contentedly while putting on his brown jeans.

"How would _you _know, fatass?" asked Kyle irritably. "You always sit out every gym class in the bleachers."

"Duh!" said Cartman, "That's why it was a good class."

"You're lucky Mr. Davis is such a pushover," said Stan, lacing his black shoes, "You wouldn't last five minutes doing actual exercise."

"How do _you_ know, Stan?" spat Cartman. "You've never even _seen _me workout. Maybe I'm just too nice to show all you assholes up." He then made a "muscle" with one of his chubby arms to prove his point.

"Even with Lightweight Davis teaching us, there's no way you could 'show any of us up', lardboy," said Kyle.

Cartman narrowed his eyebrows in anger and pointed an accusing finger at his Jewish friend. "You're just lucky gym class is over, Kyle; I'd of mopped the floor with you in _any _exercise."

"You just might get your chance," said a nasally voice nearby. Craig approached them, fully dressed as he continued. "I hear Mr. Davis is retiring and that their bringing in a new guy to replace him."

"We're getting a new gym teacher?" asked Kenny after securing his orange hood.

"Phhft, whatever," said Cartman. "I'll have this new teacher eating out of my hand in no time."

"I wouldn't count on it," said Craig in a monotonous but slightly worried tone. "I hear he's pretty tough."

"Who knows?" said Kyle. "Maybe we'll finally get to see Cartman 'wipe the floor' with us next week."

"Sorry to disappoint you, Kyle," said Cartman in a haughty tone, "but I've been excused from gym class everyday since the start of the semester. And this new teacher isn't gonna change that."

"We'll see," said Kyle replacing his green ushanka.

Cartman finished dressing himself and hummed contently as he left the locker room.

"...a real nice time." Cartman heard from the teacher's office. "But I guess it was my final go around."

"You're gonna be well-remembered here Mister Davis, M'kay?" Cartman heard Mr. Mackey say. Cartman crept closer to the door and listened in as Mackey continued. "But don't you worry about the students. We have selected a real, well-qualified replacement, m'kay? Who promises to "whip the students into shape". M'kay?"

Cartman couldn't help but snicker. He hasn't had to participate in gym for years and no fresh-out-of-college buttlicker was gonna change that.

Then, Cartman heard a door fly open and his eyes became as wide as saucers. The man who entered the room looked like a candidate for the Mr. Universe pageant.

"Mr. Mackey! Mr. Davis!" he cried in a drill instructor like voice. "I WILL GIVE YOU MY 100% GUARANTEE THAT BY THE TIME _I_ AM DONE WITH THE CHILDREN AT THIS SCHOOL, THEY _WILL _BE THE MOST PHYSICALLY FIT STUDENTS IN THE STATE IF NOT THE COUNTRY!"

"Oh, fuck!" Cartman shout whispered. As he did, the new teacher's eye connected with his.

"INTRUDER!" The teacher cried. Cartman cried out and quickly tried to escape but he only managed to fall over as the teacher advanced on and stood over him.

The other boys witnessed Cartman on his face and froze as the new teacher plucked him off the ground and to his feet.

"GOOD MORNING, FUTURE STUDENTS!" he said in the same forceful voice. "IN LIGHT OF MR. DAVIS' RETIREMENT, STARTING NEXT MONDAY, _I_ WILL BE YOUR PHYS ED. INSTRUCTOR."

The boys looked to each other, unsure of what to say.

"You may refer to me as either Mr. Heartman or Sir during class. Come prepared to work and to sweat, and we'll get along just fine."

Cartman scoffed and Mr. Heartman glared at him.

"If I spot any evidence of _laziness_….I _will _snuff it out."

He came down to Cartman's level. "I've seen your profile, Mr. Eric Cartman...and I certainly hope you don't think you're getting away with the same performance under _my _supervision." He said with a slight snarl.

Cartman gulped audibly as Heartman rose.

"I look forward to giving and getting 120%..." He looked to Cartman again. "...from ALL of you." He turned to rejoin Mr. Mackey and Mr. Davis and as he shut the office door behind him it echoed with a loud SLAM! Cartman felt himself unable to move as the boys began to file out of the gym.

"Well... he seemed...intense," said Stan.

"Looks like he already likes YOU, Cartman," Kyle said sarcastically.

Cartman was still frozen as the gym emptied but finally said in a breathy tone when he was alone, "My God."


	2. One More Chance

The following Monday, in early morning, the sun slowly cast orange light over the South Park Elementary football field. Two lone figures stood in the cool, dew-covered grass. One was Eric Cartman holding a starting position at the 0 yard line and the other was a young, blonde girl who stood beside him in a gray hoodie with a stopwatch in hand.

"Ready?" said the girl.

Cartman braced himself.

"Set?"

He prepared himself to run.

"Go!" the girl said as she started the watch.

Cartman then began running as fast as he could. He huffed and puffed heavily as the girl kept time on her stopwatch.

"Arghh!" As he reached the 50 yard line, Cartman gave a whining groan and collapsed on the grass from exhaustion.

The girl sprinted to Cartman's side and knelt beside him.

"Eric, are you ok?" she asked worriedly.

"Ughhhh…." Cartman groaned in response.

"You did a lot better today. You've never been able to run this far before." the girl said sincerely.

"This...isn't...gonna...cut it, Cierra," Cartman said between pants. He struggled to sit up as he continued. "There's a...a new gym teacher coming and he's gonna hand me my ass if I don't get it going!"

"I don't know if you'll be up to standards by 10, Eric," Cierra said softly.

"What time is it now?"

Cierra checked her wristwatch. "7:55"

"Oh, God…." Cartman fell to the ground again.

"Well, we've only been out here for ten minutes, cousin." Cierra said matter-of-factly.

"I'm AWARE of that, Cierra," Cartman said through clenched teeth.

Meanwhile, the three other boys stood where they always did in the early morning, next to the school crossing sign awaiting the school bus.

"Any you guys have the time?" asked Stan.

"'About 8:30," said Kenny quickly glancing at his smartphone.

"H-hey, guys….." said a new voice. Eric Cartman approached his friends, addressing them while gasping his words. "You-you ready for Mr. Heartman?"

Kyle raised an eyebrow at his fat friend. "What the hell is wrong with _you_, Cartman?"

"Nothing's….wrong with me, _Kyle_," Cartman insisted. "I was just…..coming back from…. my morning jog," he explained still gasping for air.

The three boys looked to each other in confusion.

"You….jog in the morning, Cartman?" Stan asked.

"Yep!" Cartman said with a pant . "Everyday. How else could I keep this sweet bod in such great shape?"

'Oh, please,' thought Kyle as he rolled his eyes.

"Just ask Cierra, she jogs with me," Cartman continued.

At the mention of her name, Cierra joined the boys at the bus stop, clad in a pink jacket and white hat.

"Hey, guys," she said with a friendly smile. The boys looked away from her. Cierra frowned and came closer to them. "_Hey, guys_," she repeated adding a wave to her greeting. The boys still refused to acknowledge her. Cierra looked down and gently kicked away some snow.

"Uh, Cierra?"

Cierra looked to Cartman.

"Cuz," he said pleadingly, "I think I might've dropped my glove on the way over here." Cartman showed her his ungloved hand. "Would you mind….?" Cartman pointed his thumb in the direction they came and, taking the hint, Cierra zipped away to look for her cousin's yellow glove.

Once Cierra was out of earshot, Cartman glared at the boys.

"Oh, real nice, guys," he spat. "The fuck is you guys' problem?"

"_Our_ problem?" said Kyle.

"Somebody says hi to you, you don't just ignore them! That's rude!"

"Oh, were we being _rude_?" Stan asked sarcastically.

"Yes!" Cartman shot to Stan. "What did she ever do to you?"

"Let's recap," Kyle began, his voice seething with anger as he pointed to Cartman. "She's _your _substitute for a week, tortures us with stupid pranks, gets me suspended for a week and all she's got to say is 'Hey, guys'?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake. Are you guys _still _mad about that?" said Cartman.

"Yes," Kyle said plainly. "Yes, we are."

"You don't treat somebody like shit for a week then just pretend it never happened, Cartman!" added Stan.

"Yeah, you're cousin's a total bitch!" mumbled Kenny.

"Ok, ok, you guys. I admit I might've gone a little overboard trying to help my cousin fit in-"

"You gave her a book titled 'How To Be An Asshole 101'," Kyle said flatly.

"And she _still _managed to be a poor substitute, right?" asked Cartman. "So what does that tell you about her?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Stan.

"Think about it, douchebags. If Cierra couldn't be a proper asshole even with a goddamned instruction manual, how much of a bitch can she really be?!"

The boys faced softened as Cartman continued. "Look, Cierra's got a bad habit of letting other people take advantage of her. She didn't have a lot of friends back in New York and now that she's here, I just want her to learn to be a little more confidant, OKAY? Just give another chance. She's new for Christ's sake and she was only trying to help me."

The three boys looked to each other, still uncertain.

"I don't know, you guys," said Stan. "What do you think, Kenny?"

"I don't know," muttered Kenny. "What about you, Kyle?"

Kyle looked from Kenny to Stan, then to Cartman then over Cartman's shoulder watching Cierra survey the snow for Cartman's glove.

"Eric!" she called. "I don't see it!"

Cartman turned away from Kyle to call back to her. "It's gotta be there! Keep looking!"

Kyle saw that Cartman had tucked his glove away in his back pocket and his expression changed from doubtful hesitation to concern. He remembered the small note Cierra gave to him before he was sent home for his suspension: "I'm sorry." She had taken great care to make sure Cartman didn't see it and since then, Kyle still wasn't sure where she stood.

"People taking advantage of her, huh?" asked Kyle with a concerned, but skeptical tone.

"Yeah!" Cartman said turning to face Kyle again. "She can be such a pushover; she's worse than Butters half the time."

Kyle looked over Cartman's shoulder to Cierra again, who had begun digging at the ground for the not-so-lost glove. He looked to Stan and Kenny and took a deep breath as he said hesitantly, "One more chance. She gets ONE MORE chance."

"You sure about that, Kyle?" asked Stan in a hushed tone.

"You heard him," whispered Kyle. "Are we gonna leave the girl version of Butters alone with _him_?"

Stan and Kenny suddenly got concerned looks on their faces, looked to each other and then back to Kyle.

"Ahh, alright, alright," said Stan. "She gets one more chance," he held up a finger for emphasis.

"But she better not blow it," mumbled Kenny.

Cartman smiled and whistled towards Cierra.

"Hey, cuz!" he shouted. "I found it! It was over here the whole time!"

Cierra darted back to the four boys and stood beside her cousin.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" asked Cierra.

"Oh, I-I didn't notice until just now." He put his arm around her shoulders and held her close. "Sorry, cuz," he said tenderly.

Kyle couldn't help cringing at how sweetly Cartman said those words.

Cartman shot Kyle a dirty look and said loudly, "And the _guys _wanted to apologize too, for ignoring you earlier. They all just had their stupid earbuds in their ears, right guys?"

The three boys said nothing.

"_Right, guys?"_ Cartman repeated with narrowed eyebrows.

"Yeah…." said Stan. "Sorry about that."

"Okay, then," Cartman said calmly. "Everything's kewl."

Cierra looked to Cartman then to the boys as he still held his arm around her shoulders. She felt a frown creep to her face as she couldn't help but feel a lingering tension in the mountain air.

A/N: Hey, look! Cierra's back! Let me know how you feel about this story by leaving a review and follow this story if you wanna know when the next chapter gets posted sooner. Next Chapter: Cartman the Olympian


	3. Cartman The Olympian

A/N: Hope you guys are liking this story so far. I am on a _roll_ here. Enjoy chapter three, where the plot thickens!

* * *

The in-between class bell finally rang at the end of History class. It was 9:50 in the morning, and the boys headed off to their first class with Mr. Heartman.

"Come on, guys," said Stan walking briskly. "I don't think we wanna get on Mr. Heartman's bad side for being late."

"Yeah," mumbled Kenny. "He seems like the kind of guy to hold a grudge."

"But you're gonna have him wrapped around your finger, right, Cartman?" asked Kyle.

"You're damn right, Kyle," said Cartman confidently. "In fact, I'm taking a shortcut to gym, just to get there before _you _assholes."

"What shortcut?" asked Kyle. "This is the shortest way to the gym."

"So eager to see me triumph, eh, Kyle?" asked Cartman as he headed to a nearby staircase. "Don't worry, you'll ALL get a chance to eat your words." With that, Cartman disappeared around the corner.

"What did he mean by that?" asked Stan.

"I don't know, but we don't have time for it," said Kyle and the three boys picked up their pace.

* * *

As Cierra walked through the hallways, she smiled at several students and waved shyly. Each student she greeted either ignored the gesture or returned it with a nasty glare. It was all too clear to Cierra that her crowd was rejecting her again. She gave a wistful sigh and held her head down until something on the school bulletin board caught her eye.

**"South Park Cows Tryouts! Open spots for football, basketball, girls' volleyball, and cheerleading!"**

She looked over and saw Principal Victoria placing something else on the board.

"Principal Victoria, ma'am?" Cierra asked.

"Oh, hello there, Cierra," she said politely.

"Are there any other girls' sports here besides volleyball and cheerleading?"

"Well, not at the moment," said the principal, "But our sports' teams are open to anyone trying out. Was there a particular sport you were interested in?"

"Well, I was wondering if there was a-" Cierra's face suddenly fell and she lost all semblance of a voice when she saw who was behind the principal. Cartman was giving her a rage-filled glare that practically ripped her voice box straight from her throat.

Eventually, she managed to stammer out, "N-n-never mind," and ran in the direction opposite to the principal and Cartman. Cartman silently continued down the hallway, while Principal Victoria was at a loss for what had happened.

* * *

The fourth grade boys all stood at attention before Mr. Heartman, who was silently inspecting his students while waiting for the bell to ring. He walked along the straight line the boys had formed and each one of them was too intimidated to breathe let alone speak. Mr. Heartman had instructed the boys to line up in perfect alphabetical order and that if anyone was missing to leave a space for that person. Following those instructions, there was a rather large space between Kyle and Clyde for the only boy in fourth grade with a "C" last name.

'Should've known he'd skip out,' Kyle thought to himself.

Finally the bell rang and Mr. Heartman came to the middle of the line and stood before the boys.

"GOOD MORNING, STUDENTS!" he bellowed.

"Good morning, Mr. Heartman," the boys all said in unison.

"YOU GRUNTS CALL THAT A MORNING GREETING?!" he yelled. "THAT WAS PITIFUL! LET'S TRY AGAIN: GOOD _MORNING_, STUDENTS!"

"GOOD MORNING, MR. HEARTMAN!" the boys said more enthusiastically.

"That's better!" said Mr. Heartman. "Now, then….I've got some real plans for you boys. We're gonna be putting the "physical" back into "physical education"! Before we do any of the mandated exercises, I'd like to gauge all of your physical health levels... with a special exercise routine of my own design. You will all-"

Before Mr. Heartman began, a loud slam of the doors was heard. In the doorway was Cartman, panting from exhaustion.

"CARTMAN!" Mr. Heartman hollered. "Just who do you think you are walking into my class late?!"

Cartman opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the teacher.

"GET INTO THE LOCKER ROOM AND CHANGE, IMMEDIATELY!"

Cartman did as he was told and scuttled to the locker room. Five minutes later, he took his place in line but Mr. Heartman still looked extremely upset.

"Since Cartman here doesn't seem to place value in any of our time," Mr. Heartman began, "perhaps _he _can be the first to perform my exercise routine." He walked towards the pieces of equipment set up and demonstrated every exercise as he described them. "First, you'll be performing chin-ups; I will place this chair underneath your feet and remove it when you have hoisted yourself above it via this bar! You will then pull yourself up as many times as you can in 60 seconds, I _will _be keeping count! Next, you will be performing push-ups. Same time frame of 60 seconds, doing as many repetitions as you can! You will then be doing backwards lunges. You are to take a 5-pound weight into each hand, lunge one leg forward bending to a 90 degree angle. Come back to the starting position and do the same with the opposite leg. You will _not _let your knee pass your toes as this _will _lead to eventual injury! Finally, you will then do the 100 meter dash and you _will _be timed as to how fast you can complete it!"

Cartman stood at attention, unfazed as Mr. Heartman explained the routine.

"With this routine, I will be measuring your upper body strength, lower body strength and cardiovascular health!"

Cartman couldn't suppress a scoff and Mr. Heartman turned on him immediately.

"There something you wanna say….Cartman?" he asked hovering over him menacingly.

Cartman gave him a confident smile and said, "Is that all?"

The boys all looked him and gasped in unison.

"Well, well, well," Mr. Heartman folded his arms. "Aren't we confident?"

"A little," said Cartman, never letting his smile leave his face.

"Well, then," Mr. Heartman said with a chuckle. "LET'S SEE WHAT YOU'VE GOT, CARTMAN!"

Cartman then followed Mr. Heartman to the pull up bar and stood on the chair beneath it. He gripped the bar tightly and Mr. Heartman stepped aside to allow the other boys to see him. With a stopwatch in hand, Mr. Heartman reached for the chair beneath Cartman.

"CARTMAN!" he bellowed. Cartman tightened his grip on the bar and hoisted himself off of the chair. Mr. Heartman then removed the chair and bellowed "BEGIN!"

And at that…..Cartman stayed rooted with his chin and torso above the bar…..and effortlessly performed the chin-up exercise. The boys couldn't believe their eyes. Eric Cartman, the most overweight, out of shape child in the entire school was able to support his own weight….and he wasn't even shaking!

"How many has he done so far?" Clyde whispered to Kyle.

"17….18….19….20…." Kyle counted as Cartman continued.

Mr. Heartman kept count as he periodically looked to his stopwatch. When the minute was up, he bellowed. "AND…..STOP!" Cartman held himself in place as Mr. Heartman returned the chair beneath Cartman's feet. Cartman had managed to do about 27 pull-ups before being ordered to stop and for a while, there was silence until Mr. Heartman finally said with a smile, "...not bad, Cartman….Let's see how you do on the _other _exercises."

Cartman managed to excel in the other routines as well: He did 20 push-ups in one minute, 10 lunges with each of his legs and completed the 100 meter dash in 10 seconds!

As Mr. Heartman hit the stop button on his timer, he rounded on Cartman and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. "Well done, Cartman. Well done." He walked from Cartman to the rest of the boys. "You can all learn a lot from Cartman! He had proper technique _and _outstanding times! Damn near Olympian levels! Cartman, you've earned yourself a well-deserved rest. Hit the showers!"

"Yes, sir!" Cartman said with a pleased chuckle. As he walked back to the boys' locker room, every last one of his classmates looked after him with a star struck look on their face.

"H-how?" Stan gasped in shock. "H-h-how? It-It doesn't make any sense!"

Kyle's eyes were bulging from his head. "OLYMPIAN LEVELS?" he shout-whispered as he watched his "friend" leave the gym. "CARTMAN?"

* * *

A/N: HOW CAN IT BE? 'TIS AN ABOMINATION OF NATURE, SCIENCE AND PHYSICS IT IS! Bet you read that in a Scottish accent :D. Leave reviews, please! I'll never improve if you don't tell me how I did :(.


	4. The Strength of Silence

A/N: I'm baaaaack! Hope you guys like this new chapter, let me know how you feel about the story with a review or a fav! I'll feel weird writing this story if I feel no one really cares and if I get no feedback, I'll never improve! :( That being said, enjoy!

* * *

Later that day at lunch, Cartman sat perfectly content with the food he "shared" with Cierra. Surrounding them both were the boys of the 4th grade class, showering Cartman with awe-struck praise.

"Dude!" yelled Clyde. "When did you pick up moves like THAT?"

"Yeah! You used to never do anything in gym and now you're this….Olympian!" said Butters in awe.

"Yeah, well…." Cartman said with a sigh. "It's like I was saying to Stan and Kyle the other day; I just didn't wanna be a show-off but...then this Heartman guy comes in demanding I perform and well….just how it goes sometimes," he took a long sip from his chocolate milk and after a loud "Ahh!" hummed happily to himself, completely unconcerned by Kyle's skeptical face.

"OH, COME ON!" he said aggravated. "HOW THE HELL ARE YOU ALL BUYING THIS?! THIS IS ERIC FUCKING CARTMAN WE'RE TALKING ABOUT, REMEMBER?! THE FOURTH GRADER WITH THE CHOLESTEROL LEVELS OF A 70 YEAR OLD MAN?!"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Cartman's tongue clicked in disapproval. "Is that bitterness I'm sensing in your voice, Kyle?" he asked in a voice dripping with arrogance. "Just can't handle the fact that you were wrong, eh?"

"Cartman, you are the _fattest sack of crap in the entire school._ There's _no way_ you were able to do as well as you did in class!" Kyle shouted.

"You heard Mr. Heartman, Kyle," said Cartman, still unfazed. "I'm Olympics material."

"It _is _pretty unbelievable," Craig pointed out. "Who'd have thought, Cartman of all people would be able to pass all of us in gym?"

"HE DIDN'T!" Kyle insisted. "There is NO. WAY. _HE _-" Kyle pointed an accusatory finger at Cartman, "-is Olympics material!"

Cartman turned away from Kyle and addressed the crowd. "You were all there!" He told them. "You ALL saw it! _I_ broke records yesterday!" He turned back to face Kyle. "You know what I think? I think you're just jealous because you barely made the standard, Kyle."

"What does THAT have to do with anything?!" Kyle demanded, his anger bubbling like lava in a volcano.

"Well," Stan held his chin as Kyle looked to him. "You DID kind of fall from the chin-up bar dude," he said sheepishly.

"It doesn't matter!" he said shaking off Stan's comment.

"Doesn't surprise me, really. Everyone knows Jews can't be athletes."

"OH, SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT JEWS!" Kyle bellowed.

Cartman folded his arms triumphantly. "You just can't handle me being better than you, can you?" he said with a smug smile.

It didn't make any sense to Kyle. How could such an overweight, out of shape, bastard like Eric Cartman have the physical prowess of an olympian? He then looked over Cartman's shoulder to Cierra, who was eating what remained of her lunch.

"Cierra…" Cierra looked up from her food to Kyle. "Cartman said that you two exercise together." He pushed past Cartman to face her directly. "When did he get THIS good?"

Cierra gulped her food nervously and stammered, "Uhh, w-well-Mmph!"

"Hey!" Cartman yelled, with his hand on Cierra's mouth. "You leave Cierra out of this!"

"Get your hand off her mouth!" Kyle spat, swatting Cartman's hand away. "You're not her keeper!"

Cierra looked to Kyle as he addressed her again. "How long has Cartman been performing this well?"

"Umm…" Cierra said softly. Her eyes darted to every face in the crowd including Cartman's before concluding her thought. "A-always," she said with a nervous smile.

Kyle was still skeptical but Cartman stepped between him and Cierra again.

"Well, there you have it, Kyle," he said confidently. "I've _always _been a natural athlete."

Kyle knew Cartman was still trying to hide something so he continued.

"OK, Cartman. Let's say you ARE an 'Olympian'...what's your secret?"

Cartman's face fell and his heart sank into his stomach.

"Yeah, what's your secret, Cartman?" asked Stan, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, tell us!" said Token.

"Yeah!" added Clyde.

The crowd began murmuring in excited agreement.

"W-well," he cleared his throat, "T-that's simple. My-my secret is…uhh…."

They all leaned in.

"It's uh….w-well it's…"

"I knew it!" Kyle declared. "He IS lying!"

"Am not!" Cartman screeched. "T-there's just...a lot of things that contribute to my success, so I can't say for sure what one thing it is."

"Augh!"Kyle groaned while he rolled his eyes in aggravation.

"I mean," he began counting on his fingers, "there's my workout routine, I'm well-fed, good genes…" Cartman then put his hand on Cierra's shoulder and tugged to make her stand. "Cierra can confirm that. She DID used to be a cheerleader."

Kyle's raised an eyebrow in interest, "You used to be a cheerleader, Cierra?"

"Uh, yeah," Cierra said, rubbing the back of her neck embarrassed. "For a year anyway."

"Show 'em some of your moves, cus," Cartman said as he ribbed her softly.

Then Kyle saw something he hadn't seen on Cierra's face for a long time: a genuinely excited smile. Cierra was more than happy to show off her cheerleading skills; she earned a slew of impressed "oohs" and "ahhs" from the crowd and would've been glad to continue but soon glanced back at her cousin. Cartman made a cutting motion with his hand and, upon seeing this, Cierra quickly finished her routine and sprinted to Cartman's side.

"Well, I guess that proves it then," Cartman said. "Physical prowess runs in the family."

"So," Craig began as he approached the cousins,"is Cierra gonna try out for the cheerleading squad here?" Craig asked.

"Actually," Cierra began. "I was thinking about-"

"ACTUALLY," Cartman said stepping between them. "Cierra and I had that very conversation a little while ago and, tragically, cheerleading can no longer be a part of Cierra's life," he said dramatically, placing a hand on his forehead for emphasis. "Her dad thinks it's too skanky," he put his arm around her, "Not something a sweet, innocent girl like her should be doing." He patted Cierra's head with his free hand. "Isn't that right, cus?"

Cierra broke away from his gaze and stared to the ground. "Yeah," she said dejectedly.

Cartman continued to pat himself on the back, but Kyle barely heard a word of it. His eye fixated on Cierra who looked like she was one harsh word away from crying.

"I mean, what do _you_ have to show off? It's not like your body's anything special, right?" Cartman said casually.

"Right," Cierra said in the same dejected tone.

"Well, at least one of us has sweet bod to show off. But don't worry, cus. You'll get yours. Runs in the family after all."

It was then that the bell rang. As the children filed out of the cafeteria, Cartman and Cierra trailed behind. Kyle put his hand on Cierra's shoulder and asked, "Cierra, why'd you let him rip on you like that?"

Cierra turned to face him. "Oh, he's just kidding around," she said trying to reassure Kyle. "He's got a point, after all. A nine-year-old girl doesn't really have much to…" She turned away from him, "...'show off'."

Kyle could tell Cierra was hiding something too and didn't let her walk away as he continued. "Cierra...are you SURE there's nothing you wanna tell me?"

Cierra perked up at this and looked like she was struggling with something.

"AHEM!" Cartman cleared his throat loudly and Cierra looked towards him as she said to Kyle, "No. Nothing," and gently shrugged his hand from her shoulder. She walked towards Cartman and turned a final time to say, "And even if there was...it's...none of your business."

"Exactly," Cartman agreed and the two cousins left the cafeteria together.

Kyle watched them go and Stan chimed in. "She...does have a point, Kyle."

"What?!" Kyle shouted . "So, I should just accept that Cartman's an 'Olympian'?!"

"No….but that's not the only thing bothering you, is it?" Stan said, being accusatory in tone.

"Well…" Kyle began. "I don't know, dude." Him, Stan and Kenny began to leave the cafeteria. "There's just something about the way he treats her." The cafeteria's doors closed behind them. "It just drives me nuts."

"Yeah, I noticed," Stan said plainly. "But, it's like she said. It's none of our business."

"Hurry up, Cierra!" Kyle heard Cartman call in the distance. Cierra then bolted around the corner and rapidly entered her locker combination. "We're gonna be late!"

"Coming!" She cried back. She filed all of her books away and slammed the locker close, rounding the corner at such a speed, she left a breeze behind her.

Unbeknownst to her, the three boys had seen the entire display and Kenny mumbled in awe, "Wow! Cierra's pretty fast."

Kyle considered his words and said thoughtfully, "Yeah…yeah, she is."

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A/N: Secrets, mistreatment, and more secrets! How IS Cartman outperforming everyone? Stay tuned for the next chapters to find out! Reviews are always appreciated! I CRAVE constructive criticism! :) But no flaming -_-;


	5. Cartman's Forced Hand

A/N: To all my Christian readers, I say Merry Christmas! To my Jewish readers, a belated Happy Hanukkah and to all others, enjoy whatever holiday you celebrate between the posting of my chapters. I enjoyed writing this chapter. I hope it shows. Enjoy and DON'T. FORGET. TO. REVIEW. :3

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The next few weeks of gym were unbearable to Kyle. As Mr. Heartman pushed everyone relentlessly beyond their limits, Cartman continued to outshine everyone. Kyle struggled to improve even minutely, while each class seemed like a cake walk to Cartman. Now, he didn't consider himself an "Olympian" but he was one hundred percent sure he was in significantly better shape than Cartman was. And yet, there he was, going against every law of nature, every rule of physics, and every ounce of logic Kyle could muster up. And Cierra? She knew SOMETHING about all of this. Kyle was sure of it. But something was making her hold her tongue. Or rather _someone_. He just didn't understand. It didn't add up. He HAD to be cheating.

'But how?' he wondered.

"Alright, boys," Mr. Heartman said softly before adding in his familiar bellow. "FRONT AND CENTER!"

The boys' class stood before Mr. Heartman in alphabetical order. Kyle caught a glimpse of Cartman's arrogant look and grumbled to himself.

"Starting next week," Mr. Heartman explained. "Rope climbing will be added to our fitness roster!" He pointed to the climbing rope behind him. "CARTMAN!" he bellowed. Cartman stood at attention. "I'll bet you've tangled with rope-climbing….GET UP THERE AND SHOW 'EM HOW IT'S DONE!"

"Phhft," Cartman snickered. "'Tangled' he says." He approached the rope and Mr. Heartman turned to the rest of the class.

"Now I want you grunts to pay close attention and watch a _true _athlete in action."

"Oh, please…." Kyle grumbled.

"CARTMAN…..ascend the rope….NOW!"

Cartman shook his hands loose and began effortlessly climbing the rough rope, reaching the top at an impressive speed.

"Watch the technique boys," Mr. Heartman said proudly. "Now THIS is how you climb a rope!"

Stan quietly swapped places with Clyde in line and whispered to Kyle, "Thanks, but I'd rather not view Cartman's ass from this angle."

Kyle smiled at this and whispered back, "You and me both, dude." As he watched Cartman ascend the rope, Kyle's smile quickly faded away.

"You, OK, Kyle?" Stan asked.

"I just doesn't seem fair, Stan," Kyle whispered. "Look at him up there. Unhealthy as fuck, laziness kid in the world but he gets to the top faster than any of us ever will."

Cartman rang the bell mounted near the rope and looked down to Stan and Kyle. He knew they were talking about him but instead of looking proud, a shameful frown crossed his face.

"GOOD WORK, CARTMAN!" he heard Mr. Heartman shout from below. "NOW BRING IT BACK DOWN!" Cartman quickly erased the frown from his face and nodded to his teacher as he began to descend the rope.

"You think what he was saying all these years was true?" Stan asked. "That he's just big boned and it _is _muscle, not fat?"

"No way," Kyle whispered. "I don't know how, but I _know _Cartman found a way to out of taking gym class."

As Cartman came closer to the bottom, he felt his hand being skinned by the rope. His eyes darted around the gym, worried but quickly released the rope and stood beside Mr. Heartman.

"Now THAT," said Mr. Heartman, "is how it's done."

Cartman dusted his shoulder as the teacher continued but cradled his hand as his eyes continued darting nervously around the gym. Kyle noticed Cartman holding his hand tightly and a substance he couldn't identify gleamed around it.

"Good work, Cartman my boy!" He ruffled Cartman's hair then addressed the other boys. "Try to keep Cartman's technique in mind and you'll all do great! Now enjoy your weekends and HIT THE SHOWERS!"

The boys all left the gym and headed for the locker room. Stan began heading towards it too but he felt a tug at his arm from Kyle. He gestured towards the rope and Stan followed him towards it. Kenny noticed his two friends heading for the rope and followed suit, not noticing Cartman slipping out of the gym altogether.

Kyle began examining the surrounding space as Stan investigated the rope itself.

"Think he swapped out the rope or something?" asked Stan.

"No, but there's gotta be something here helping him," Kyle insisted.

"Eew!" Kenny cried. "The fuck is all over the rope?"

"Lemme see," Kenny step aside and let Stan get a closer look. "It's all...white and sticky." Stan took some from the rope and rubbed it between his fingers.

"Aw, sick dude," Kenny mumbled.

"Wait!" Stan cried. "I know what this stuff is."

"What is it?" asked Kyle.

"It looks like….fat."

"Fat?" Kyle raised an eyebrow.

"You know, that white stuff on meat before you cook it?" Stan explained.

"Why would there be fat on the rope?" asked Kenny.

"Don't know; but look!" Stan pointed to a trail of the sticky substance.

"Come on!" Kyle motioned for his friends to follow him. "I bet this is the stuff I saw."

"What stuff?" asked Stan.

When Cartman came down from the rope, he started clutching his hand. I saw something on it reflecting the lights."

The trail lead to the boys' locker room and as they surveyed the space, they realized Cartman was nowhere to be found.

"Where's Cartman?" Kyle demanded.

"He said something about rope burn," said Clyde changing out of his gym clothes. "He probably headed to the nurse's office."

The three boys headed out of the gym and into the hallway and saw more bits of the white fat. They followed the trail around a few corners before it vanished completely near the boys' bathroom. They were about to venture inside when Kyle saw a familiar face wander around a nearby corner: Cierra.

"Oh, hey guys," she said as friendly as she could muster.

"Cierra? What are YOU doing here?" Kyle asked.

"Uhh, going to the bathroom?" Cierra pointed to the girls' room.

Soon, the four children heard a toilet flushing, running water, then out of the boys' room came Eric Cartman. Cartman noticed the three boys had suspicious looks on their faces and spat, "What do you assholes want?"

"Dude, what happened to you?" asked Stan.

"Yeah, how did you get here so fast?" asked Kenny.

"Umm, class record holder for the 100 meter dash," Cartman said haughtily. "Hello!"

Kyle came forward, "So, you left the gym, went to the opposite end of the school to the nurse, then came all the way back to THIS bathroom?"

"Nurse?" Cartman asked confused.

"Clyde told us you were headed to the nurse's office," said Stan. "That IS where you were right?"

"Oh! Oh! Right!" Cartman said, quickly catching on. "It's just, you know, when you move as fast as I do, even thoughts can get left behind; Am I right?"

Kyle was unconvinced. "So….what did the nurse SAY, Cartman? Diarrhea?"

"Oh, real funny, Kyle!" Cartman shot back. "I came back with a clean bill of health."

"So…." Kyle folded his arms, "hand's all better?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Cartman, narrowing his eyebrows.

Cierra realized Kyle wasn't being fooled and chimed in with, "Remember, Eric? You told me about it on the way over here. Your _rope burn_?" she said emphasizing the final two words and pointing to her own hand.

"Right! My rope burn!" Cartman said. "Nurse said it was nothing serious. Jjust needed to run it under cold water and look!" He showed his hand. "All better!" He folded his arms as Kyle let his fall to his sides. "Now shouldn't you guys be getting changed out of your gym clothes?" He pointed to the three boys and Kyle felt his hands ball into fists. "Our next class'll be soon," Cartman added condescendingly.

"Alright, fatass," Kyle said, his eyebrows narrowed, "what's going on with you and gym class? We all _know _that you can't do _any _of the stunts you pulled, so cut the crap!"

"Oh, Kyle," Cartman shook his head. "Poor, poor Kyle. This again? I thought we established that I was able to outperform you for a multitude of reasons"

"Then explain THAT, fatboy!" He pointed to the floor at the trail of white fat. "I saw your hand covered with it when you came off the rope in class. What is it?"

Cartman's eyes narrowed and Stan saw Cierra step backward as Cartman collected himself. "Alright, Kyle. You did it. You discovered my secret." Cierra was surprised at her cousin's statement. "You wanna know how I keep performing so well in gym? The answer is simple:"

The boys all crossed their arms as they waited for their explanation.

Cartman then simply said, "Chicken Fat."

There was an awkward silence as Kyle mulled over what Cartman had said. Eventually, he spoke up.

"Chicken fat," he said. "That's your secret?"

"Yup!" Cartman said confidently.

"That is….the DUMBEST thing I have EVER heard!" Kyle shouted.

"Chicken fat did _not _make you a better athlete Cartman!" shouted Stan.

"Alright, then buttmunch. What did then?" asked Cartman.

"You ARE cheating Cartman! I KNOW you are!" Kyle said pointing a finger at Cartman.

"How Kyle?" Cartman asked in earnest. "Like I said before, you were all there. How could I possibly have cheated?"

Cierra began fiddling with her hands nervously and Kyle went past Cartman to talk to her. "Cierra…" he began. "You know don't you?"

Cierra looked to him, scared but Cartman stood between them immediately. "Kyle, I've already told you once! Leave my cousin OUT OF THIS!"

"YOU'RE FORCING HER TO KEEP YOUR REAL SECRET AREN'T YOU?" Kyle accused. "YOU'RE A FUCKING CHEATER AND THE BOTH OF YOU KNOW IT!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, KYLE!" Cartman screamed. "SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH! I _AM _A REAL OLYMPIAN AND I'LL _PROVE _IT!"

Cierra perked up at this and said, "Prove it? How? You've been outperforming everyone already," she noted, "What do you need to prove?"

Cartman put up his hand to silence her and continued. "Come to my house Monday morning," he explained. "We'll all walk to the school bus together. You assholes can stick to me like glue all day. That'll prove that I'm not pulling any bullshit with you..." The three skeptical boys looked to each other then back to Cartman. "..._and_ not only will I beat the school rope climbing record come Monday class, I'll do it climbing….WITH ONE HAND!"

The four remaining children gasped.

"O-one hand?!" Cierra gasped.

"Cartman! That's insane!" said Kyle.

"I'll say it is!" said Cartman. "And it'll go down in the history books!"

"Cartman, there is no way you can climb a rope with one hand!" said Stan.

"Hell, if I can't!" Cartman pointed his nose to the air.

"Eric, climbing with one hand on a rope is extremely dangerous!" said Cierra. "You can't do that kind of stunt without serious injury-"

"Shh!" Cartman shushed Cierra and never took his eyes off her as he spoke. "It _will _go down on Monday. I _will _climb that rope one-handed. And they _will _put my name in the history books." Cierra said nothing more, but looked to the ground and backed away as Cartman faced the boys again. But Kyle didn't bother to acknowledge him. He instead focused again on Cierra and suddenly a bell went off in his head as the bell for between classes rang. As the students emerged from their classrooms, Cartman and Cierra disappeared into the crowd. Soon Kyle, Stan and Kenny all stood alone as the hallway emptied. "Dude, we better get back to gym. We gotta change back into our regular clothes," Stan pointed out. The three boys hurried to the gym but not before Kyle took some of the chicken fat from the ground and rubbed it between his fingers. He then noticed some small trickles of it rounding another corner but before he could follow it, Stan caught his attention.

"Kyle, come on!" he cried.

At this, Kyle hurried to his friend's side but his mind was still racing. Was chicken fat really contributing to Cartman's success? He didn't know. But what he did know was that Cierra definitely was.

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A/N: Oh, the secrets! Why won't they stop?! Read and review my lovelies and you will be rewarded! Sooner updates maybe? :D 'Til next chapter, bye-bye!


	6. Runs In The Family

A/N: Getting close to the end guys, but still at least two chapters to go. I appreciate all the views and stuff but I'd REALLY appreciate some reviews too. Like I said in the previous chapter, if I don't get feedback, I'll never improve and I do want to continue writing fanfics for South Park, so let me know how I'm doing, please? :(. That being said, enjoy Chapter 6!

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"Cheating, Broflovski?" Mr. Heartman said sternly. "That's a serious accusation to make."

Kyle went to Mr. Heartman's office later that day and as he sat in the small chair in front of his desk, he knew that he would have a hard time convincing Mr. Heartman that his favorite student was a cheater.

"Mr. Heartman, I know it's crazy, but you've got to listen to me. I've known Eric Cartman my entire life," Kyle gestured to himself, "He is out of shape, slow and LAZY."

"And yet HE is performing at the top of the class, while _you _are improving at a very slow rate." said Mr. Heartman.

Kyle was taken aback by this statement but continued confidently "Sir, you've got to know that someone _that_ fat should not be able to move that well in gym," Kyle explained.

"Broflovski…" Mr. Heartman rose from his desk. "I've trained many a man with many a body type….and I've seen men heavier than Cartman move plenty well when properly motivated."

"I'm sure you have, sir," Kyle began. "It's just-"

"Now, I understand that you may be harboring some feelings of jealousy towards Cartman but you shouldn't resent his talents. Let them motivate you."

"I'm not jealous!" Kyle shouted, earning a death glare from Mr. Heartman. He quickly turned to a more respectful, but nervous tone. "I-I-I just know that Cartman is cheating because it's what he does. He's always looking for the easiest way around things and he never participated in gym before you came."

"That is true, Broflovski," Mr. Heartman said, softening his face. "His track record for fitness isn't exactly a sight to behold. But to insinuate that Cartman is cheating _now_, right under my nose, doesn't sit well with me, Broflovski."

"I know, sir-"

"He's in class everyday." Mr. Heartman explained.

"I know, sir." Kyle said.

"Performs outstandingly." Mr. Heartman said enthusiastically

"I-I know, sir." Kyle grumbled.

"And goes along his way….When exactly would Cartman have the time to cheat?" Mr. Heartman asked. "If he is there, performing with us, the whole time?"

"I…" Kyle was at a loss for words. "...don't know, sir."

"Hmm, you don't know," Mr. Heartman said flatly.

"No, all I know is it has something to do with-," before Kyle finished his sentence he cut himself off. Chicken fat would've likely made Mr. Heartman laugh than take him seriously.

"What, Broflovski?"

"N-nevermind," he quickly said.

"Well then, Broflovski, I think I can safely say we don't need to waste anymore time here."

Kyle looked up at his teacher who was now concentrating on a stack of papers on his desk.

"Waste time?"

"See, Broflovski, this is how it works," he looked back to Kyle. "If you came in here saying you witnessed Cartman engaging in some questionable activities before and after gym, I may confront him or ask his guardian about the activities in question," he explained. "If you came here giving me evidence of cheating, then some disciplinary action may ensue."

Kyle grimaced as he contemplated telling him about the chicken fat but still felt reluctant to do so as Heartman continued.

"However, coming in here, just to tell me you KNOW Cartman is cheating, tells me that you have no respect for my time and are looking to just make Cartman look bad."

"But, sir-!"

"DON'T YOU 'BUT' ME, BROFLOVSKI!" he bellowed as he rose from his seat. "YOU COME INTO _MY _OFFICE, SUGGEST ONE OF MY BEST STUDENTS IS CHEATING WITH _NO _PROOF AND TRY TO 'BUT' _ME_?! THE ONLY 'BUT' I WANNA SEE FROM YOU, BROFLOVSKI, IS THE ONE ATTACHED TO YOUR BODY LEAVING MY OFFICE!"

Kyle frowned, defeated as he rose from his seat and left the room.

"THE CARTMAN FAMILY HAPPENS TO HAVE THE HEALTHIEST SET OF KIDS I'VE EVER HAD THE PLEASURE TO TEACH!" he stated as Kyle began to shut the door but he hesitated for a moment when he replayed Heartman's words.

"The Cartman _family_?" he wondered out loud.

"Why, yes!" Mr. Heartman said enthusiastically. "Both Cartman kids have proven to be real all-stars in my classes."

"Mr. Heartman? Are you talking about...Cierra?" Kyle asked.

"Yes, Cierra Cartman; Best female athlete in her class."

Kyle then had a thought and hesitantly asked, "Mr. Heartman...what were Cierra's scores in gym?"

"That's classified information, Broflovski," Heartman said sternly.

Kyle was taken aback but quickly came up with an idea. "You mentioned earlier that I was under performing, Mr. Heartman? I just wanna have an idea of something to shoot for."

Mr. Heartman raised an eyebrow but said, "I can't give exact scores but both Eric and Cierra Cartman have been performing significantly above average. In fact, their differences in scores are only milliseconds apart."

"Milliseconds?" Kyle wondered.

"Cierra _is _falling a little behind," Mr. Heartman said in a more concerned tone. "But sometimes you'd swear one of them just came to gym twice."

Kyle's eyes went wide as he practically flew out of Heartman's office. It finally dawned on him. All he needed now was proof.

* * *

Cierra spent that weekend with Cartman at his house. She needed all the concentration she could get to polish up the big project she was working on. She sat at the kitchen table with a large jar of white, thick chicken fat, using it to put the finishing touch on her masterpiece while Cartman "supervised" from the living room couch. Cierra groaned and grimaced in disgust as she scooped another massive glob of fat from the jar and placed it into a large, clear bag with an audible squish. Shaking from nausea, she quickly retreated to the kitchen sink and profusely washed the foul substance from her hands.

"How's it comin', cus?" Cartman said casually as he munched on a potato chip.

"Great," Cierra replied, "but it's still a long way from being ready. The last go around really took a toll on the structural integrity."

"Welp, you'll just have to make sure it's good and strong this time." Cartman said, never taking his eyes from the TV. "You got a better sack, right?"

"Uh-huh. Vinyl," Cierra said simply. She dried her hands and sat back at the table. She reached for the jar of fat but before grabbing another glob, she held her hands and wrung them nervously.

"Eric?" she called feebly.

"Yeah, cus?" he said still enthralled by the television.

"I...I could use some help in here."

"Oh, no, no. I'd just get in the way," Cartman said flatly. "_You're_ the expert on these things, cus."

"Oh...ok," Cierra said dejectedly. She reached for the fat again but stopped herself and got up from the table. Cartman still munched away on his chips and didn't even acknowledge Cierra's presence as she came beside him.

"Eric?" she said meekly.

"Cierra, what? I'm trying to watch TV!" he shouted still not looking at her.

Cierra recoiled a bit but continued. "Eric, are you sure we should be doing this?"

"Well, it's working," he said "so, yes."

Cierra still felt she was sailing into dangerous waters but still went on. "It's just that…..Well, Kyle is starting to get really suspicious and I still feel that climbing the rope one-handed is extremely dangerous, even for-"

"Cierra, are you still talking?" he said still refusing to look in her direction. "Because all this time you've wasted running your little mouth, you could've spent working. It's already after midnight, but if you wanna go to school tomorrow with no sleep under your belt that's up to you." He stated as he absentmindedly crunched another potato chip.

Cierra looked to the clock on the wall and saw it was 12:15. Cartman finally looked over to see her staring at the clock and asked.

"Why are you still here?"

"Well, because-"

"All you're doing is wasting precious energy. The sooner you fix the damn thing, the sooner you can go to bed and the sooner you go to bed the sooner you'll have nothing to worry about. Now, GO!" He pointed back to the kitchen and resumed watching TV but Cierra stopped her retreat to the kitchen and said softly,

"I just think we should call the whole thing off."

Cartman muted the television while Cierra still had her back to him.

"What….did you say?" he said sharply.

Cierra didn't respond and Cartman felt his face begin to boil with anger as he rose from the couch. "Cierra...you remember that _talk _we had about _thinking_…." he said as he clenched and relaxed his fists.

Cierra held herself but refused to look her cousin in the eye as she continued.

"Yes…" she said shakily but then said in a more stable tone, "But I think-I _know _that this is wrong. There's no _way _we can keep this up forever! I can't take all this pressure from keeping this big a secret!"

Cartman felt himself shaking from frustration and muttered curses under his breath until a light bulb suddenly went off in his head at his cousin's final words. He calmed himself down and spoke with a softer tone.

"You know what? I think you're right, cus," he said soothingly.

Cierra, unknown to Cartman, had a surprised look on her face. "I...I am?"

"Yeah, you're totally right," he repeated in the same soothing tone. "Living a lie is _always _a bad thing."

"Y-yeah…" Cierra held herself tighter and began rubbing her arms, concerned by the sudden turn in Cartman's demeanor. "Of-of course it is."

"But then, I'm not sure you're in a position to question _my_ moral fiber, Cierra. That would just be the pot calling the kettle black, wouldn't it?" he said as he shifted his tone from soothing to sly.

"What-what do you mean?" Cierra stammered.

Cartman began to approach Cierra with a sly grin on his face. "You said it yourself, Cierra. That living a lie is wrong?"

Cierra looked over her shoulder nervously to Cartman.

"Well..." he said. "...what about _that _lie?"

Cierra's eyes bulged from her head and she went rigid with fear.

"Wha-what lie?" She asked in a fearful tone.

"You know….The lie you tell everyone every day? The one your father made me swear never to tell?"

She fully faced him as the color drained from her face.

"No..." she whispered in horror.

"Oh, yes," he chuckled with his hands placed behind his back. "_That_ lie." Cierra felt a strong chill run through her heart as he began pacing around her. "But if _this _little lie is getting to you so much…" He made an "I don't know" body gesture then held his chin in his hand as he raised his brow slyly . "...maybe we _should _tell everyone the truth...the _whole _truth."

"You-you wouldn't…." Cierra said on the verge of tears. "You wouldn't!"

"Oh, yes I would." He said in a sing-songy voice. He gave another sly smile and shrugged. "It's like you said, cus. We can't possibly keep this lie going forever. Maybe it's time we came clean…"

Cierra clutched her chest and shut her eyes tightly, trying as hard as she could not to cry.

"...Unless," he continued, "...you've changed your mind?" He turned to face her again.

Cierra soon softened her eyelids and slunk back to the kitchen table without saying another word.

Cartman watched her resume her work with a smile on his face, then turned off the TV and put out the living room lights.

"Don't stay up too late, cus. Pick up the pace and I'll see you in the morning, kay?" he said sweetly. He headed to his bedroom and yawned deeply not even noticing Cierra rubbing her eyes from exhaustion. She looked to the microwave clock flashing 12:23 and sighed heavily as she dug her hand into the jar of chicken fat once more.

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A/N: The end is near you guys! End of this story anyway. Keep an eye out for the next chapter! I may even post the last two at once if I finish them in time for New Year's! And again: reviews, please! Bye-bye! :)


	7. Kyle's Dilemma

A/N: This was probably one of my favorite chapters to write. You can tell by how long it is XP. But anyway, enjoy the chapter, READ AND REVIEW and Happy New Year! :D

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Monday morning had finally arrived and Kyle, Stan and Kenny headed briskly to Cartman's home.

"I still can't believe it, dude. Milliseconds?" Stan said in astonishment.

"I know, dude. But there's _no way_ it's a coincidence," said Kyle.

"So, you think Cierra is somehow taking Cartman's place in gym?" asked Kenny.

"That's gotta be what's going on; the only thing I can't figure out is _how_," Kyle said. "I mean the guy in class _looks _like Cartman but we all _know _it isn't. So what's the secret behind the switch?"

"Well, we're gonna find out today aren't we?" said Stan. "We're gonna be sticking to Cartman all day, right?"

"Yep! There no way Cartman'll be able to get a switch past us," Kyle said confidently.

They arrived at Cartman's doorstep and rang the bell.

Mrs. Cartman answered the door. "Hello, boys," she said sweetly. "Are you here to walk with Cartman to the bus stop?"

"Yeah, where is he?" asked Stan.

"Eric, honey! Your friends are here!"

At this, Cartman came down the stairs and Mrs. Cartman placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Eww! Mom!" he cried and violently wiped her lipstick from his cheek.

"Have a good day at school, sweetie. And don't forget to bring Cierra her homework today."

"Will do, mom," Cartman said flatly as she shut the door behind him.

"Why do have to bring Cierra her homework?" asked Kyle.

"Not that it's any of _your _buisness, Kyle but my poor cus got hit with the flu this weekend and she'll be missing school today." He gestured to himself. "So, I'll be playing the role of good cousin and make sure she doesn't fall behind on her homework. She does have a _thing _about her grades."

Kyle looked at Cartman suspiciously as they headed to the bus stop. It was a little _too _convenient that Cierra was absent the same day Cartman was to climb the rope one-handed. He looked to Stan and Kenny and saw equally suspicious looks on their faces. Finally, Kyle spoke up.

"Don't forget, fatass. We're sticking to you like glue until gym is over."

"We've got a pretty good idea of how you're cheating," said Stan.

"Oh, that's nice," Cartman said calmly. "And when I prove to you I'm _not _cheating, I'd love to hear whatever your crazy theory was."

The morning went by with nothing out of the ordinary happening. Cartman failed to answer any of the questions in History or Reading and complained and whined after the quiz they took in Math class.

"Ugh!" Cartman groaned on the way to gym. "When are we ever gonna use that crap in the real world? Seriously?!"

But none of the three boys answered him.

"What's with you guys?" he asked. "Upset that I'm about to prove you wrong?"

Kyle especially was looking downhearted. He worried that his theory may have been wrong after all. Gym was in less than 10 minutes and Cartman hadn't done anything remotely un-Cartman like.

"Whoa!" Cartman held his stomach. "Dude, I need the bathroom, NOW!"

"Dude, we've only got nine minutes 'til gym," said Stan. "Just wait 'til after you climb the rope."

"No, man...I don't think I can hold it." Cartman held his stomach even closer and bent over in pain. "Oh, God….UGH!"

"Nice try, Cartman," said Kyle, "but we're not falling for it."

The boys then heard a loud fart escape from Cartman's backend and reacted accordingly.

"AWW, SICK DUDE!" Stan covered his nose with his jacket.

"GROSS!" cried Kenny, though it was barely heard through his parka as he draw the hood's strings as tight as they would go.

Cartman had no shame however and calmly said, "You guys go on ahead, I'll meet you at class. Unless you want a nose full of this," he pointed to his ass.

"Oh, God, no!" Stan ran towards the gym with Kyle and Kenny in tow, still pulling on his drawstrings.

"Later," said Cartman saluting as he headed into the bathroom. Kyle suddenly stopped running and took a moment to process what Cartman had done. Since when does Eric Cartman _salute_?

"I'll catch up with you guys," he said with his orange jacket still half pulled over her nose. "I'm gonna try and wait it out."

"You're a braver man than I, Kyle!" Stan called as he and Kenny went through the gym's doors.

Kyle went back to the boys' bathroom to wait as near to the door as he could without breathing in the terrible smell. Surprisingly, Cartman came out less than a minute after Kyle arrived.

"Ahhhhh!" he cried out contentedly. "_Much_ better." He then glanced over at Kyle leaning against the wall and jumped in surprise. "Dude! I thought you went to gym!"

"Came back to wait for you," Kyle said flatly. Cartman passed him by rolling his eyes. "That was...a pretty quick trip to the bathroom, Cartman."

"What? Were you timing me or something?" Cartman snapped at Kyle. "Jesus Christ!" he muttered. As the two of them headed to gym, Kyle slowly slid his jacket from his nose and realized there was no foul smell around the boys' bathroom….

The boys' class stood in their usual alphabetical spots and Mr. Heartman began with their usual routine of stretches and warm-ups.

"UP! DOWN! UP! DOWN! UP! DOWN! UP! DOWN! AAAAAND, DONE!" He cried as the boys finished their final warm-up exercise. As usual, they were all exhausted from it and as usual, Cartman stood completely unshaken by it. Mr. Heartman flashed him a smile and Kyle let a soft growl escape his mouth at Heartman's blatant display of favoritism.

"ALRIGHT BOYS! TODAY….YOU CLIMB!" Mr. Heartman pointed to the rope behind him and many of the boys in line gulped nervously but Cartman stood with a more confident stance but Kyle noticed something slightly different about him this gym class. Cartman was looking the rope up and down and giving a slight grimace when he stopped to focus on the bell at the top.

'Is he….nervous?' Kyle wondered.

Mr. Heartman pointed to Cartman and gestured for him to stand beside him. He then turned to address the rest of the boys. "Cartman will first demonstrate how it's done; then once you've all taken your turns, you may relax until class ends."

'Thank God,' Cartman thought with relief.

"Cartman!" Mr. Heartman snapped Cartman back to attention. " ….You may begin."

"Thank you, Mr. Heartman. But, if it's alright, I'd like to put on a little show for everyone here today."

"Oh?" Mr. Heartman raised an eyebrow. "In what way?"

"You're all about pushing beyond one's limits, yes? Well, I thought a real way to push MY limits would be by climbing this rope….using only my legs and right hand," Cartman said dramatically.

The class was taken aback from this statement, with the exception of Stan, Kyle and Kenny and even Mr. Heartman was surprised.

"Cartman...are you sure you wanna do that?" Mr. Heartman said with genuine concern in his voice.

"Mr. Heartman please….I can handle this," he said confidently.

"Climbing a rope with one hand is just something I've never seen a nine-year-old boy do."

"Well, that changes today, teach," said Cartman. Mr. Heartman still seemed unsure but Cartman said firmly. "Mr. Heartman….trust me. It's in my blood."

Heartman then cracked a smile and said, "Alright, Cartman…" he pulled out his stopwatch, "...1…"Cartman shook his hands loose, "...2…" then took his position on the rope, "...3...BEGIN!"

Cartman then, to a series of grunts began fulfilling his promise of climbing the gym rope with only one hand. The boys, including Stan, Kyle and Kenny, could not believe what they were seeing. Kyle, especially, was focused one hundred percent on Cartman as he tried, futilely, to understand HOW this was possible. If Cierra was out sick and only Cartman was in school, who else _but _Cartman could be up there? It was a difficult pill to swallow but...it was the only explanation. Cartman soon finally reached the bell and stretched his left hand out to ring it.

"I guess…. he wasn't lying," Stan said still blindingly astonished.

"I...I guess so," said Kyle completely flabbergasted. "We are _never _gonna hear the end of this," he added while pinching the bridge of his nose.

Just as Cartman rang the bell however, he began to feel his hand slipping.

"Oh, shit!" he shout whispered. He quickly tried to stabilize with his left hand but both of his hands were soon being saturated by a white, foul smelling substance: chicken fat. He began to slide down the rope as he struggled to hang on but it became increasingly more difficult as his hands began to seemingly look like they were…._deflating_.

"Cartman, what's going on up there?" Heartman cried out.

Cartman turned to answer but screamed instead as he began a rapid slide down the rope, ending with a faceplant and his hands still covered with the chicken fat

"Cartman!" Mr. Heartman and the class began to rush to his side but he quickly collected himself, wove his way through the class and bolted out of the gym.

"Where does he think _he's _going?"

Kyle looked to the floor and saw the white trail.

"I've got a pretty good idea…" he said.

Cartman soon found himself in the boys' bathroom once again and began feverishly washing the fat from his hands. Soon, Kyle had come to the same bathroom and found it locked. He started pounding on the door.

"CARTMAN! OPEN UP! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!"

He pressed himself against the door and began to hear voices.

"What happened?" he heard the first one say. He knew in an instant that it belonged to Cartman. But then came a second voice.

"I don't know! It just started coming apart!" it said anxiously. "I knew this would happen, I knew this would happen!" As he listened, Kyle realized that the second voice sounded too feminine to belong to Cartman.

"You have got to get out of here before Kyle gets in and BUSTS US!"

Kyle pounded on the door with more fervor and it began to give way to his strength but it wouldn't open. Soon, Stan and Kenny came running from the gym to find Kyle pounding at the door.

"Kyle!" Stan yelled. "What are you doing?!"

"He's in here!" Kyle cried. "He's locked the door! Help me get it open!"

Stan did as he was told and Kenny soon joined in as well. With the boys combined strength the door finally gave way and in the bathroom stood a lone figure: Eric Cartman.

Kyle was sweating from exhaustion and marched straight into Cartman's face.

"WHERE IS SHE?!" he demanded.

"Who Kyle?" said Cartman nonchalantly.

"DON'T PLAY FUCKING DUMB WITH ME, FATASS! I KNOW CIERRA IS IN HERE!"

"Kyle, Cierra is out sick today. Remember?" Cartman responded in the same unshaken tone

"Then _who _were you talking to in here?"

"Nobody!"

Unbeknownst to the four boys, they were being watched.

Kyle crawled on his hands and knees and began looking under the stalls.

"Kyle, you trying to catch someone taking a crap?" Cartman said with a chuckle.

"She's hiding," Kyle said ignoring Cartman's comment. "I heard her voice. I _know _she's in here."

"Where could she be hiding, Kyle? The boys' room is pretty small."

"Cartman, the jig is up," Stan pointed an accusatory finger at Cartman. "We all know for a fact that you weren't the one in gym class today."

"How do you figure that, Stan?" asked Cartman raising an eyebrow.

"You're still in your regular clothes, dumbass. You left the gym in your GYM CLOTHES." Stan explained.

An unseen eye went wide at Stan's logic, while Cartman continued to play it cool.

"How do you know I didn't have my clothes on under my gym clothes?" Cartman asked.

"Cartman, enough!" Stan yelled. "Just admit that you cheated!"

"I don't have to admit anything to you guys! I didn't cheat!"

Kyle began to hear a faint creaking noise and scanned the bathroom's stalls as Cartman continued.

"But if you're so sure that I did, I still wanna hear you guys' _amazing _theory of how I'm doing it."

Kyle ignored the creaking noise and faced Cartman again. "I spoke to Mr. Heartman, Cartman. He told me that both you and Cierra's scores in gym are near identical. Explain that!"

"I already did, Kyle! Athleticism runs in the family, remember?"

"You are NOT an athlete, Cartman! You get winded walking up a flight of stairs!"

"So, what exactly are you getting at Kyle? You think Cierra is taking my gym classes for me?"

"Yes!"

"You realize how incredibly stupid you sound don't you?"

The creaking noise from earlier caught Kyle's attention again, this time increasing in volume.

"What's that noise?" Kyle asked.

"Don't change the subject!" Cartman shouted making the three boys face him again. "I'm asking you again, you guys: How does a nine-year old little girl, take the place of a stud muffin like me in gym class?"

At that the four boys heard the creaking noise be replaced with a shriek and a loud SPLAT! A large amount of chicken fat then seeped from underneath the farthest stall from them and Kyle pushed it open and gasped. On the floor, in an undershirt and short shorts, covered from head to toe in chicken fat, was Cierra Cartman who looked incredibly repulsed by her current state.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?!" a nearby voice bellowed. Mr. Heartman was out in the hallway and approaching the bathroom. "WHERE IS CARTMAN?!"

"Guys!" Kyle called to Stan and Kenny, "Try to keep Mr. Heartman from coming in here." Stan and Kenny looked to each other confused but Kyle looked to them with gritted teeth. "I need to talk to Cartman alone."

Stan understood and looked to Kenny. "Come on, dude. I don't think we want any part of this." Kenny nodded, they both went off to guard the door and left Kyle alone with Cartman and Cierra.

Kyle looked to him with a stare that had death written all over it. Cierra was terrified but Cartman quickly got over his nervousness and spoke.

"Alright, Kyle," he said putting his hands up. "You caught us. Cierra _has _been helping me."

"I _knew _it! I knew there was no way-"

"Yeah, yeah, you did," Cartman cut him off. "Bravo, Kyle," he added with a mocking applause. "Cierra and I knew I wouldn't be able to handle Heartman as a teacher. So, she created an elaborate costume to take my place in gym." Cierra held her knees into an upright fetal position. "She used chicken fat as a primary component, even adding it to the hands to increase the realism."

Kyle looked to Cierra with a softer expression. "So...that day Cartman got 'rope burn'?"

"The hand started leaking," Cierra confessed. "I had to wash it off and get out of the costume. I was coming from the janitor's closet when we ran into each other."

Cartman raised an eyebrow at Kyle's sudden turn.

"Cierra….." Kyle asked. "Why would you do this?"

She avoided Kyle's gaze. "I...I was just trying to help," she said sadly. However, Cartman began smiling.

"You know, Kyle…." Cartman began. "you did figure it out. But there's still one thing that's left to reveal."

"What's that?" Kyle said grinding his teeth.

"What are you gonna do now?" Cartman asked.

Kyle was taken aback slightly. Surely. Cartman knew the punishment that would await when he revealed the truth. "What do mean? I'm turning your sorry ass in!"

"You sure about that, Kyle?"

"Of course, I'm sure!"

Cierra looked to her cousin, confused.

'What's he up to?' she thought.

"Kyle, why don't I just give you the rundown, hmm?" Cartman came to Kyle side. "You see, we both, you and me, know that you're not going to tell on me."

Kyle retained his disapproving look. "Really?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes," Cartman said sincerely. "Because, Kyle, I don't know if you've realized this but…...See, I'm not the only one who's in trouble here."

Kyle's expression went from disapproval to intrigue as Cartman continued.

"If you decide to go to Mr. Heartman and tell him the truth, I might get one maybe two months of detention and who knows what other punishments. But I can handle that. I'll recover from that. But….what about poor Cierra?"

Kyle's face sported a frown as he considered Cartman's words and looked to Cierra.

"She's in a rather compromising position, Kyle. Being covered from head to toe in chicken fat in what might as well be her underwear. And in the boys' bathroom." Cartman left Kyle's side and came to Cierra's. "I won't be the only one taking this fall, Kyle, but I'll recover from it. The detention, Heartman's wrath, the possible humiliation from being outed as a fake, that'll pass in no time for me...But Cierra?" He pointed to her. "She's already seen as a social pariah after the whole 'substitute' thing, but this? This will destroy any chance she has left at recovering from that. Being discovered like this will lead to her total humiliation, Kyle, the likes of which she may _never _recover from."

Kyle looked at Cierra as she buried her face in her knees, the chicken fat squished and dripped around her as she shook from a nasty chill.

"But if that's what you want, Kyle, then go ahead. Tell on us. It's all in your hands now."

Kyle looked from Cierra to Cartman and felt himself being torn. As much as he hated to admit it, Cartman did have a point. This scenario held the potential for the kind of humiliation that wouldn't go away very easily if at all. And with the way Cartman had his hooks into her already, the isolation from the student body could lead her to a much darker fate than just embarrassment...

Outside, Stan and Kenny were holding their ears against the door, struggling to hear the conversation between Kyle and Cartman.

"What are they saying in there?" Stan asked.

Kenny shrugged his shoulders and mumbled, "Hell if I know."

"Marsh! McCormick!" shouted a familiar voice. "Where is Broflovski? He said he had an idea of where Cartman was going."

"Uh, we don't know sir," Stan said stepping in front of the boys' bathroom door.

"We haven't seen him," mumbled Kenny as he also stepped in front of the door.

"There a reason you're blocking that door, grunts?" Heartman asked.

"No, sir," Kenny and Stan said in unison. Mr. Heartman was not amused and pushed them aside. He attempted to push the door open but found it locked.

"The hell?" He asked.

"BROFLOVSKI!" Kyle heard Heartman cry. "BROFLOVSKI, YOU IN THERE?!" He pounded the bathroom door as he spoke. "WE STILL HAVEN'T FOUND CARTMAN! IS HE IN THERE?!"

Kyle looked at the door anxiously and his eyes darted from it to Cierra to Cartman about three times before Cartman spoke again.

"I can get her out of here, Kyle," he said. He pointed to an opening in the wall above the stall where Cierra sat. "We've been using this passageway to get Cierra in and out of gym without being seen. But I'll only do it if you let _both _of us go."

"What's stopping me from just telling on _you_?" Kyle shot at him.

"If I go down," Cartman shot back, "Cierra's coming down with me."

Kyle felt his body tense up as Heartman continued to pound on the door.

"BROFLOVSKI! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! YOUR FRIENDS WERE GUARDING THE DOOR! DID YOU FIND CARTMAN?!"

Kyle looked back to the door again and his gaze darted from Cartman to Cierra rapidly. On the one hand, if he told, Cartman would get his just desserts but Cierra would be severely humiliated. But on the other hand, if he let them go, Cierra would be spared but Cartman would escape punishment and continue to take credit for Cierra's hard work.

"BROFLOVSKI!"

"He needs a decision now, Kyle," Cartman said calmly.

Kyle's fists locked as he squeezed his eyelids tightly; he bared his teeth and his entire body shook with frustration.

"ARGHHHHH!" he growled but at last he sighed and turned to the door.

"BROFLOVSKI!" Heartman bellowed once more. "Are you in there?!"

"Yes!" Kyle cried out to him.

"DID YOU FIND CARTMAN OR NOT?!" Heartman asked.

Kyle looked back one more time at Cartman and Cierra before facing the door again to give his final answer.

"No."

Cierra gasped silently and Cartman gave a toothy smile, thoroughly pleased with his victory.

"He's not here," Kyle concluded. And he soon heard his teacher's footsteps retreating from the door. He looked behind him again and saw Cierra and Cartman were both gone. Defeated, he unlocked the bathroom door, sulking as he left Stan and Kenny behind.

"Dude! What happened?" Stan asked. "Why didn't you tell?"

But he got no response from his best friend and turned to Kenny.

"Dude, what the fuck happened in there?"

Kenny shrugged, just as confused as Stan.

Back in the boys locker room, Cierra and Cartman dropped down from a vent in the ceiling. Cartman helped Cierra up to her feet and spoke sweetly to her.

"See, cus? What did I tell you?" he said. "You had nothing to worry about once I played my trump card."

"You knew this would happen?" Cierra asked.

"I was pretty sure Kyle would figure it out eventually; so I had that move stashed away just in case."

"How did you know he wouldn't tell?" Cierra asked.

"'Cause he's Kyle, cus. I knew he'd be dumb enough to feel sorry for you," Cartman said casually. "What an asshole," he added with a chuckle. "Besides," he pinched Cierra's cheek affectionately and said in a baby voice, "who could have the heart to squeal on a cutie like you?"

He let Cierra's cheek go and she rubbed it to soothe the pinch's lingering sting.

"But what if he _did _tell?" Cierra asked.

"It doesn't matter, cus," Cartman said. "Point is, he didn't and he's not going to. So, relax!"

"But-"

"Now go and get yourself cleaned up," Cartman said. "I don't need _you _giving us away after all we've worked for."

Cartman then left Cierra in the boys' locker room without noticing his cousin now had a disgruntled look on her face…..

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A/N: One chapter left! Will be uploaded before next year! Enjoy this until then! READ AND REVIEW! ...pleeeease? :D


	8. The Chicken Comes Home to Roost

A/N: Final chapter is up! Enjoy and please let me know how you liked the story!

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That afternoon at dismissal, a huge crowd of children excitedly retreated from the school's ground. Stan and Kenny walked out following the crowd at a slower pace and found Kyle sitting on the steps near the back entrance, leaning forward as he held his face in his hands and moping.

"Hey, dude," Stan said hesitantly. "You alright?"

"Not really," Kyle said downheartedly.

"So…. why didn't you tell Heartman back then?" asked Stan.

"I don't know," mumbled Kyle. "What good would it have done?"

Stan raised his eyebrows surprised. "Well...Cartman would've gone down. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Well, yeah, but-" Kyle stuttered, "I guess I...I don't know, ok? I...I guess I just felt sorry for her."

"Who, Cierra?" Kenny asked.

"Yeah," Kyle responded. "I just didn't feel right, you know? After what she must've gone through these last couple of weeks, to get found out in the boys' bathroom, covered in chicken fat? It-It just seemed….harsh."

"Well...she did still help Cartman cheat," Stan pointed out.

"I know," Kyle admitted. "But I don't think she was totally ok with it."

"What do you mean?" asked Kenny.

Kyle dug into his pocket for a small piece of paper and showed it Stan and Kenny.

"That day when Cierra got me suspended, I found this stuck to me."

Stan opened the post-it note.

"'I'm sorry'?" Stan read.

"I think she left it there without Cartman knowing," Kyle explained. "Look at the handwriting: perfect cursive."

"Definitely looks like a girl wrote it," said Stan. "But if Cierra was sorry, why didn't she just say so?"

"Have you seen the way Cartman treats her? She was probably too scared to say anything."

Stan frowned at this, as he knew the feeling of fearing a relative all too well.

"Anyway, it doesn't really matter," said Kyle. "There's no way Cartman'll be able to keep this up forever. He and Cierra will be found out eventually and, well, maybe she'll start trying to be a little less of a doormat."

"Speaking of Cartman," Kenny interjected, "anybody seen him since lunch?"

"No, why?" asked Kyle.

Stan looked away from Kyle as he saw a familiar fat kid running around the football field.

"Look!" Stan cried and the three boys ran towards the field. Mr. Heartman stood on the field with a stopwatch in hand watching intently as Cartman ran across the field. Though the speed Cartman moved at seemed more like a slow walk than anything resembling a run.

"Mr. Heartman?" Kyle asked. "What's going on?"

"You-you-you know….damn….well...what's...going on, _KYLE_!" Cartman struggled to say through his heavy breathing.

"LESS SASS AND MORE RUNNING, CARTMAN!" Heartman bellowed. "I'LL GET YOU INTO SHAPE IF IT KILLS YOU!"

At this, Cartman fell to the ground with a weary whine.

"What's Cartman doing running out here?" Stan asked.

"Well, Marsh, it seems Cartman here has been through quite unique methods, CHEATING IN EVERY ONE OF MY CLASSES! And if there's one thing I can't stand more than laziness, IT'S A CHEATER!" He came back beside Cartman and blew his whistle loudly. The shrill sound made Cartman jump back to his feet. "GET YOUR ASS OFF THE GRASS, CARTMAN! YOU'VE GOT 2 MORE HOURS OF THIS TO GO!"

"Kyle….you fucking tattletale…" Cartman wheezed as he continued to "run".

"BROFLOVSKI!" Heartman approached Kyle and softened his expression as he continued. "I owe you an apology. You were right about Eric and the minimal discrepancy between his and his cousin's scores should have tipped me off."

"Oh, no problem, sir," said Kyle.

"And don't you worry about _this _Cartman, Broflovski. He'll be training with me everyday after school until he reaches school standards on his _own _merits."

"So, he'll be training with you until high school?" Stan asked sarcastically.

"Ha, ha! Good one, Marsh!" Heartman laughed heartily. He then turned towards Cartman and bellowed after him. "MORE HUSTLE, CARTMAN! RUN!"

Kyle, Stan and Kenny tried to conceal their delight but couldn't suppress their laughter. As much as Kyle was enjoying Cartman getting his punishment, something still puzzled him.

"Sir?" he asked to Heartman. "So, if it wasn't the scores that tipped you off to Cartman's cheating….what did?"

"Well, a student came forward to me this afternoon and gave me concrete evidence that Cartman had been cheating in class for several weeks," Heartman explained.

"A student?" asked Kyle.

"Yes, and they also preferred to remain anonymous." And with that, Heartman walked towards Cartman on the opposite end of the field as the three boys looked to each other confusedly.

"I didn't tell, " said Stan.

"Me neither," said Kenny.

"Then, who…?" Kyle began to ask before seeing Cierra walking along the opposite side of the field. Cierra's eyes met his and she flashed him a nervous smile and wave. Kyle sprinted across the football field and met her on the opposite side.

"Cierra," he began with a slight pant in his voice, "what happened?"

"Well, someone told on us and Mr. Heartman pretty much threw the book at Eric. He's gonna have to train with him every day, including weekends, until he makes up for all the classes he skipped."

"And what about you?" Kyle asked.

"Well, I'm not getting off scott-free," said Cierra. "He called both of our parents and when my dad gets that message, he's not gonna be happy. I'm looking at probably two weeks worth of grounding, plus Mr. Heartman will only let me keep my scores in gym if I can prove to him I have 'moral fiber'," she said while making quotation fingers.

"Moral fiber?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to do some community service too," Cierra added.

"Any idea where?" Kyle asked.

"Mm-mm," Cierra shook her head and looked back to the football field.

Kyle smiled at her and continued. "It was you, wasn't it? You're the student who came forward,"

"What do you mean?" Cierra asked.

"It must've been really hard for you," Kyle said. "To do what you did."

"What makes you think it was me?" Cierra asked as she shrugged her shoulders and looked away. "The student who came forward was anonymous, remember?" she added with a mischievous smile.

"It wasn't me, or any of the guys." Kyle folded his arms. "And I know Cartman would never rat himself out. You were the only other person who knew about it."

"Hmm," Cierra continued to look away and smile. "I guess whoever came forward heard about the incident in the bathroom and thought what you did was...kind of cool." She looked back to him briefly and saw the confidence he had in his conclusion from the smile on his face. "Maybe whoever came forward just wanted to let you know that...what you did was worth it." She continued to look away from him but retained her smile.

"Yeah…." Kyle said. "I think it was."

Cierra turned back to face him and put her hand on his shoulder. "I'll see you around, Kyle." She then withdrew her shoulder and continued on her way. As Cierra walked out of sight, Stan and Kenny joined Kyle on the sidewalk.

"You really think she told, Kyle?" asked Stan.

"Oh, I know she did," Kyle said confidently. "Come on, let's head home. There'll be plenty of Cartman's torture to enjoy tomorrow," he added with a laugh as the walked in the opposite direction to Cierra.

Cierra looked over her shoulder back to the three boys and thought, 'You know...he's got a really cool hat,' before giggling to herself softly.

"Hey, dude," Kenny mumbled to Kyle. "You got something on your shoulder."

Kenny pointed to the object on Kyle's shoulder and he looked to see another post-it note.

"What's it say?" Stan asked.

Kyle read it with a smile but didn't say the message out loud.

"Thank you."

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A/N: Aaaaand done! This was a lot of fun to write you guys! I hope you all liked it, let me know in a review what you liked, what you didn't like and if you wanna see more from me and more of Cierra. Happy New Year everyone!


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